Thank You

Was there ever a time I resented you?  Indeed, there were many.  Were there nights of worry about how I could find you, and complete the circle of life for my precious daughter?  Too many to count.  Did I curse you, and shake my fist at the air for what I perceived to be the legacy of loss with which I believed you saddled my daughter?  I did.  I blamed you for all that went wrong sometimes.  At others, I wept for what you were missing.

I wonder, were there nights upon nights upon nights that you sat up, rocking back and forth in the pain of knowing she was out there, somewhere?  On that special day in May, and on Christmas and a rainy Wednesday, was it hard?  I know it was.

My daughter, our daughter struggled with the mystery, the questions, the feelings of inadequacy and self doubt surrounding her early minutes.  Did you miss her?  Did you even think?

And yet here you are.  After almost 20 years, we have somehow brought you together.  And look at us.  Look at how it is, and how we are, and how it will be.

I am grateful.  I love you.  Thank you for one of the two most precious gifts of my life.