Friday, January 22, 2010
BLOGGING FOR CHOICE 2010
The theme of Blog for Choice Day 2010 is TRUST WOMEN.
I write about choice from the perspective of one whose choices were a bit unconventional. I have never been pregnant, oh, not for lack of carelessness in my youth, but just because I have been lucky. I know, though, that had I found myself pregnant in my 20s, I would have been hard-pressed to have an abortion. However, that would have been MY CHOICE. Like it or not, our society is a patriarchy. Men: doctors, politicians, clergy, whoever, believe they have the right to make suggestions and demands about what women do with their bodies. The truth is, people don't trust women.
When I was looking to build a family, I had choices. I could have opted for donor insemination, I could have gotten pregnant by traditional methods, or I could adopt. I chose adoption because it felt right to me. I was single, and although healthy, I knew that if pregnancy left me incapacitated at all, I would run the risk of losing my job or worse: being alone and having to stay in bed, or not perform physical tasks that my single life called on me to perform. I had a very good friend at the time who was on 4 months of bed rest in order to carry her baby to term. What would have become of me?
But some people did not trust me with my own decision to adopt: it was too expensive, I didn't know what "kind" of child I would get, on and on. "Why don't you just be a foster parent? Then you could change your mind if it didn't go well." While I welcomed the support of my family, who were all wonderful, I was frustrated by others who acted as though I had not thought my decision out and weighed all the options.
My hope is that my daughters will also have the choice to build their families-or not-by choice. They must be trusted to make these important decisions about their own bodies and futures.
I don't feel very eloquent on the subject, but I feel very passionate. The choice must remain with the woman.